Short Tag Line:
Ho ~ Ho ~ Ho !
I/We are looking for
Anybody up to actually meet and go out and do something?
We love all people! Well, except for assholes, we don't love assholes. We have only one pet peeve, and that's Flakes. You're as good as your word, make plans with us once and not show up, and you won't get a second chance. Big & small, skinny & plump, but let's face it, it all starts with a physical attraction, so Please,if you don't have pictures IN YOUR PROFILE, let's not beat around the bush.Why bother?
Hey, if your life's pursuit is where your next hook up may come from...If you miss out on life's greatest pleasures, picnics, drinks with friends, camping trips, motorcycle rides at sunset, Because you can't tear yourself from swinger websites...If you believe a negative, pugnacious, hate mongering profile here will help you get laid... If you're a single male posing as a couple trying to get past the site filters...If you honestly expect people to meet you in this day and age, without seeing your pictures first...If you just can't seem to drum up enough creativity to get anything more than an "I'd like to tap that" into your e-mails.... Hell, we're no match. Oh, and please, no boring internet swingers. You know the type, logged in here every single weekend, every random time you pop on, appear to never leave their homes. That just "screams" of a married guy looking to cheat on his wife, or a pathetic lurker who's social ineptness makes it impossible to meet women in traditional settings, and too cheap to pay the fees at a cathouse. We're about Real, and fun and friends first. We don't play near as often as we used to. Don't kid yourself though, We still know how it's done! This lifestyle is just not a numbers quest for us, and more of a casual hobby that we sometimes share with friends. If you're playing a quest for numbers, we're not a match. At this point we prefer to be friends with our playmates. She loves the feel and taste of a fine girl, and she's learned from the best. Hubby is Grand Nation Champion of the Cunnilingal Association of America. (Well, he would be, if such an organization existed). Prepare for a trip ladies, as he doesn't stop until you tap out. Not looking for strictly straight play, we're pretty good with that on our own. She's always looking for hot bi-female friends! He can watch, join or go ride his Harley! ;)~
Above all, we're looking for Genuine people. People who are who they say they are. We would love to find a compatible open minded bi girl, guy or couple for regular sharing. We don't always have to go out on the town. Occasional weekends indoors enjoying games, cards, maybe the hot tub with a couple of cocktails. We think the playtimes just get a little more adventurous as we get to know others. We view ourselves as two of the three musketeer's, and prefer to play "all for one, one for all". Sure, Others may view us as two of the three stooges, but the bond is the same, whether we're just yukking it up or traveling the seven seas. We're a real couple who share both this website and the lifestyle as a couple. If you're looking for Hans Solo and Princess Leia. pass us up. Likewise if you're searching for Chewbaca and Jaba keep looking. However if you're wanting to meet a genuine friendly couple, that knows how to have a fun time, maybe we can explore this lifestyle galaxy together, and see what stars we can see!
While we rarely initiate e-mails,(don't really have to,as we're regulars to the lifestyle scene) we absolutely answer every single e-mail we receive. So, if you can form an e-mail that consists of more than "Nice titts, hit me up"...you'll get a polite return e-mail from us. This is a team effort and we both use this site,Mr writes the profile and Mrs answers the e-mails.
Hey is this thing on? Does anybody really go out and meet on weekends? Gentlemen, put down the penis and back away from the keyboard, self abuse will only bring on heartbreak and blindness. Seriously, we enjoy single guys that can read, single ladies that would choose a taco as quickly as a frankfurter, and couples that actually leave their homes once in a while, as a couple.
Thanks for checking out our profile. Now you owe it to yourself, or to us, to take the next step and say hello. Ok, maybe you don't "owe" anybody, but if you hope to see the dirty pics,that's what it takes. Oh, and if you don't say hello, and just float around cyberspace checking out peoples profiles, it makes you a lurker, and really, that's kind of creepy ;-)
From Mrs Dancing... OK, I see the pictures of your mrs that you've used for bait, but where are YOUR pictures? Based on this, can you just send your wife?
Seriously, well-hung single guys, if you have pictures in your profile, feel free to say hello, but cheating posers pretending to be couples, and guys without pics, don't bother.
Hmmm, our ideal male playmate…. He'd have his own teeth and hair. He’d be built like Adonis, with a powerful chest, strong legs and arms, and Betty Grable eyes. He’d be hung like King Kong, but have the gentle touch of Martha Stewart, and would be able to bring a woman to orgasm just by whispering sweet nothings in a breathy voice.
Our ideal female playmate…. Would look very much like Jennifer Anniston, but with breasts. She’d be sweet and demure to the point it would belie her hidden talent to suck a golf ball through a garden hose at 20 paces. She’d have the tiny hint of a landing strip leading the way to her beautiful coochie, and she’d taste like warm butterscotch schnapps.
Of course in lieu of our hopes and dreams, we’re looking for FUN PEOPLE. Mutual attraction and chemistry is important, and while we're good with hwp or rounded bodies, if you have a face only mother could love, you'd better be rich and have an extra charming personality. Seriously, we may decide to kiss, or leave the light on.
We're both honest and straight forward, and respect that in others. Our friends say that we're an attractive couple,but in all fairness,most of our friends wear glasses and tend to drink allot. He's a brute, stereotypical Harley dude, except clean shaven and a gentleman with a gentle touch. "Bi comfortable". She's a feisty, fiery, boobilicious readhead who always speaks her mind. Yes gentlemen, if you have a tiny dick, she will tell you that. "Confirmed Bi, no longer just curious. She's lasered smooth, he's shaved smooth. We're very secure in our relationship, so this is not a means to find only girl-girl play. We find that on our own, and as a little hint, not usually on a swinger site.We're far from "Hardcore" in the lifestyle, so we're not generally ready to hook up and fuck at the drop of a coin. We're exactly who we represent ourselves to be here. We're friendly and open-minded, and normally pretty outgoing when we feel comfortable. We're extremely selective, but our selectivity is based more on YOU than on your BMI. Call us old fashioned, but we have to know that we Like you, before we'll Play with you. We've played with some who were in great shape, and others who were a bit softer to the touch, and still believe the sexiest thing our playmates can possess is a great personality and positive attitude. We're drug free, though we do smoke.We're very considerate smokers though,carrying mints and mouthwash wherever we go. We've been told we don't look our age, and we certainly don't act it, unless we're forced to do so. While age is just a number, we seem to have most in common with others in their 30's,40's and 50's.
Outside of the lifestyle.....We truly love the outdoors.We enjoy fishing, hunting, camping, hiking, motorcycles and exploring backroads and ghost towns. In the winter we enjoy the occasional night out in the casinos, dinner or a night of throwing darts at several local bars. We have a terrific outdoor tiki bar, and enjoy having the occasional single or small groups of friends over so he can show off his amateur mixology skills.
We're not at all into camming or other pretend activities but don't mind exchanging a few e-mails to see if we have common interests, before planning a meeting.
We have plenty of pictures of both of us in our profile, and expect to see the same before we'd ever agree to meet anyone.
Couples,if you have no pics of your male half to show or send,Please don't contact us. Why is it always the male half of couples contacting us and they never have any pics of themselves? Hmmmmm. Singles, guys or gals, while seeing pics of your privates can be hot, we'd need to see your face before agreeing to meet. After all, how could we expect to recognize you in the bar if we've only seen pictures of your boobs or cock? So if you're unwilling to share a face picture, please don't bother. There, that last line usually seperates the men from the boys.
Tell us about your fantasies and/or real experiences.
We're weekend warriors that share every other weekend off together.
Occasional Cocktail parties & BBQ's hanging at our backyard Tiki Bar with friends. Clothes come off and the hot tub opens. When the sun goes down, so do we.
Fantasies, are only realities, that have not yet been realized
We've realized many fantasies already MFM, FMF, MFMF, FMMM, bi, straight, slightly bent, role play, strap on fun, glory holes, inglorious holes....Of course, just because we've done them before, doesn't mean we won't do them again! Labels are for bottles on the store shelves, if we have to wear one, Let it be "Adventurous"
What else would you like to say, do, see, hear about or learn about.
The saddest of equations is that of two fives sitting at home, week after week, waiting for a ten. Loving yourself begins with self acceptance.
While our profile may at time wax elequent, we're just a down home good time couple, who BTW would never WAX our WhoHas....we prefer laser treatment and razors.
Fishing is like sex; size, equipment, and technique are all important
All of the usual disclaimers apply;
No humping, No pushing, No sniffing heinys
No bathroom activities; ok,maybe a shared shower,but nothing yucky
No drugs, gerbils or other small herbivores, especially in combination. Gerbils are not nearly as mellow as you would think when they are stoned.
No rough stuff.(While we may tolerate the occasional wet willy; tittie-twisters, purple-nurples, noogies and charlie horses are absolutely out)
Don't expect her to swallow, You wouldn't swallow a strangers manchowder, would you? Of course if you do, there's more than enough to go around. Be courteous, the time to announce that you're going to cum, is not after the eruption. Trust me, she won't leave you hanging, she just prefers to "call the shots".
No anal, that's reserved for us,so when it comes to DP,he gets the back door. Of course with all of these extra orifices,we're sure we can work out something that's beneficial for all. We'll consider waving the "no-anal clause" if you're man enough to be the recipient of her brand new strap-on, but remember....you first.
Single guys, Well-hung is nice, and looks especially cool in the pictures, but remember even the hardest of wood splits when you try and force too large a drill bit into it. Tight grain here, so the finesse of a fly fisherman is required if you're packing a huge rod.
Remember, the esophagus may go all the way to the stomach, but inducing the lady's gag reflex, is not a surefire way to be invited back!
Single guys, You're responsible to bring the towel. It's your mess, you should wipe it up.
Single women, we'll provide the towels, however, if you're a squirter, as she does on occasion, please give us advance warning, and we'll make it a beach towel.
Ladies, the male half (the funny one, as opposed to the hottie) is obsessed with performing oral on hot females, actually quite good too (president of college Muff-Diving Team), so if you're not into receiving oral, please bring a deck of cards so we'll have something to do. Yes the "wedding tackle" gets plenty hard and is entirely rideable, just prefer to "lick it before you stick it"!
Squeaky clean only; should we really have to mention this? Doesn't everyone shower and brush their teeth before going out? If you don't, please sit downwind from us and not waste your time creating small talk with us.
Same room always, same bed usually.